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realmofthemuse
Jan. 17th, 2008 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sacredeyes3. There is someone out there, whether near or far, who is waiting for you to step right up and...what?
The world lay before her. How many years had she lived and how many more would pass until she went wherever God’s creations departed to. She wondered if there was something waiting for her, someone waiting for her. Did she have a great purpose that would be remembered for ages or was her life bound in the little things that time faded with age? So much of the world was uncertain and unknown. That perhaps was the greatest of God’s challenges.
Darius had gone and she longed for company but did not want to be in anyone’s presence. The feeling she couldn’t shake. She was needed somewhere but for what? Perhaps duty was all that mattered and that was what the wait entailed. Peninnah watched the people walking too and fro past the church from where she stood by the largest of the maple trees. The wait was very real but the reason was not quite clear.
She stood there for many hours until the cold had even chilled her despite her strength. Many thoughts had passed her mind in that time. She had memories of so many people. She knew them all, their families, their children. From here and stretching back to her creation she knew many people but none of them knew her. She hadn’t been part of their lives and she wasn’t part of these people’s lives in any very real sense of the word.
That was when she realized what she was waiting for. She was waiting to live. Caught as she was between God and mortality there was no place that she belonged. The part of her that lived in God’s light whispered to be content with the bounty of blessings she already had. The mortal blood in her body screamed constantly in frustration and loneliness. The two parts of her were at war with her mind trying to satisfy both needs. Some she did not understand. The feeling that twisted her insides when she saw people together never made sense though her Godly side somehow knew it was inappropriate.
What was it, to live? There was a difference between living and existing though Peninnah could not name the specifics. Still she knew her life as it was didn’t encompass living. She barely ventured beyond the church walls and almost never beyond the church yard. That wasn’t living or so that mortal voice inside whispered. What was it to live a life and whose life should she live? She was unlike anything on this Earth, whom would be around her to know through experience.
Agatha barked and Peninnah looked over at the puppy bounding from the dog door. The time for waiting was through. Maybe it was time to just live and not worry. She knelt in the snow with her constant companion.
“Shall we go to the dog park sweet Agatha?” Peninnah scooped up the tiny dog and left the church behind. She was tired of isolation and it was time she stood up to make it change.
The world lay before her. How many years had she lived and how many more would pass until she went wherever God’s creations departed to. She wondered if there was something waiting for her, someone waiting for her. Did she have a great purpose that would be remembered for ages or was her life bound in the little things that time faded with age? So much of the world was uncertain and unknown. That perhaps was the greatest of God’s challenges.
Darius had gone and she longed for company but did not want to be in anyone’s presence. The feeling she couldn’t shake. She was needed somewhere but for what? Perhaps duty was all that mattered and that was what the wait entailed. Peninnah watched the people walking too and fro past the church from where she stood by the largest of the maple trees. The wait was very real but the reason was not quite clear.
She stood there for many hours until the cold had even chilled her despite her strength. Many thoughts had passed her mind in that time. She had memories of so many people. She knew them all, their families, their children. From here and stretching back to her creation she knew many people but none of them knew her. She hadn’t been part of their lives and she wasn’t part of these people’s lives in any very real sense of the word.
That was when she realized what she was waiting for. She was waiting to live. Caught as she was between God and mortality there was no place that she belonged. The part of her that lived in God’s light whispered to be content with the bounty of blessings she already had. The mortal blood in her body screamed constantly in frustration and loneliness. The two parts of her were at war with her mind trying to satisfy both needs. Some she did not understand. The feeling that twisted her insides when she saw people together never made sense though her Godly side somehow knew it was inappropriate.
What was it, to live? There was a difference between living and existing though Peninnah could not name the specifics. Still she knew her life as it was didn’t encompass living. She barely ventured beyond the church walls and almost never beyond the church yard. That wasn’t living or so that mortal voice inside whispered. What was it to live a life and whose life should she live? She was unlike anything on this Earth, whom would be around her to know through experience.
Agatha barked and Peninnah looked over at the puppy bounding from the dog door. The time for waiting was through. Maybe it was time to just live and not worry. She knelt in the snow with her constant companion.
“Shall we go to the dog park sweet Agatha?” Peninnah scooped up the tiny dog and left the church behind. She was tired of isolation and it was time she stood up to make it change.
