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the_bigshow B. What is the one thing you cannot forgive?
Mar. 16th, 2008 11:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sacredeyesThough many would not believe in such, I can forgive anything. Perhaps that is misleading. I do not feel it is my place to deem what must be forgiven. God alone has the right to tell us when we must repent and when we are free of need. My duties are to offer what I can. I often help others find forgiveness for what they believe requires it. I do not however tell them they need to ask for it from God, myself or any other. That is not my place to say.
Perhaps though there is a measure of something that I have yet to forgive. I can not forgive myself for failing Him. My church will forever be in ruins as the rubble now stands as a monument to those Britain lost to World War II. There is a constant reminder for me that I still have much to do in order to find forgiveness. There is still the grave which marks the resting place of the man I failed. Sometimes I wonder if he has forgiven me for allowing him to die. That is something I may never know. I do hope he has found that in his heart. I should think after having known him that I have not faltered his heart. He would not blame me for trying and failing. I can not say if God has forgiven my lapse in duties. I do know I have still to forgive myself. I can not abide my own failing.
There is the truth of the one thing I can not forgive. While I can forgive others of any transgression, turn a blind eye to their deeds, I can not do the same for myself. I can not find the strength to forgive my own shortcomings. Perhaps that will come with time. It has been only a short few years by my life since my failure lead to my punishment. Sixty years are not many to find the solace I seek. I can only hope time will soften my feelings and provide me with a means to once again be content with myself.
Words: 356
Perhaps though there is a measure of something that I have yet to forgive. I can not forgive myself for failing Him. My church will forever be in ruins as the rubble now stands as a monument to those Britain lost to World War II. There is a constant reminder for me that I still have much to do in order to find forgiveness. There is still the grave which marks the resting place of the man I failed. Sometimes I wonder if he has forgiven me for allowing him to die. That is something I may never know. I do hope he has found that in his heart. I should think after having known him that I have not faltered his heart. He would not blame me for trying and failing. I can not say if God has forgiven my lapse in duties. I do know I have still to forgive myself. I can not abide my own failing.
There is the truth of the one thing I can not forgive. While I can forgive others of any transgression, turn a blind eye to their deeds, I can not do the same for myself. I can not find the strength to forgive my own shortcomings. Perhaps that will come with time. It has been only a short few years by my life since my failure lead to my punishment. Sixty years are not many to find the solace I seek. I can only hope time will soften my feelings and provide me with a means to once again be content with myself.
Words: 356
