sacredeyes | For true_writers Jackson Browne Lyrics

5. Jackson Browne - Doctor My Eyes

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
Through the slow parade of tears without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

As I've wandered through this world
As each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken from this dream
People go just where they will
I never notice them until I've got this feeling
That it's later than it seems

Doctor my eyes
Tell me what is real
I hear their cries
Just saying "It's too late for me"

Doctor my eyes
Cannot be disguised
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry?

Peninnah needed more than the church perhaps. Many had told her going beyond its walls to help would be rewarding and reduce her loneliness. She left Agatha and started walking. She was uncertain where her path would lead but she trusted in God to take her to where she was needed. After a time she stopped before an unmarked building. It seemed unassuming with one door and painted in a flat gray.

Without questioning the feeling she went within and to the desk that stood at the front. The advertisement that had a shattered plate on it and the one beside with a crying child told her all she needed without reading the words.

"May I help you?"

The woman behind the counter asked with a suspicion that could not be hidden from a normal human let alone the woman in her presence.

"I have come to volunteer my time in your service." Peninnah replied calmly though the pain that seeped from the building welled up like a flood inside.

"We require rigorous screening of our volunteers before you can volunteer." She started typing on the computer. "Have you acquired your clearances?"

"Yes. I had to receive them to teach Sunday school." She stepped closer and touched the counter more to hold her upright as the wave of emotions rolled through her.

"We require a copy of them. Your social security card or state identification as well as proof of residence." She shuffled papers and handed a stack across the counter. "You also need to fill these out to start the process."

Peninnah glanced down at the paperwork and up at the woman holding them. With the emotions racing through her she felt tears welling up. "I can not read enough to fill them in."

The woman seemed horrified and sympathetic. "Oh. Well." She glanced around at the empty lobby before smiling. "I can help you."

"Thank you." Peninnah felt a great relief despite the emotions and sadness still rolling from the stone surrounding her.

"Name?"

"Peninnah."

"Is that your first or last name?" The woman asked curiously.

"First."

"Last name?"

Peninnah froze. "I do not have one."

The woman seemed confused but didn't ask again. "Birth date?"

"July 14th."

"Year?" The woman asked but showed every bit of patience.

"I do not know." Peninnah felt as if she was failing at this task.

"Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime, hate crime or abuse?"

"Yes." Peninnah answered only now realizing the nature of the feelings that saturated the building.

"Which was it?"

"All of them." Peninnah responded but could no longer look at the woman behind the counter.

"Perhaps we should finish this in an office?" The woman was already standing. The question was rhetorical. Peninnah only nodded before coming around to follow the woman. Perhaps coming here was for more than helping those who were already in this place. To be healed offer to heal others. That was the way of God. To receive we must give. Perhaps this willingness to give would lead to more. For now she did not think of it. Instead she focused on the papers she must complete in order to help those here who needed so much more than she.

Words: 540